Asking Not Asking #27: Looking to Leap
TINA ESSMAKER / Creative Coach
Dear Tina,
How do you make the leap from something that appears incredibly stable (in my case government work) to less definable, tangible work (in my case spiritual-based services)?
For context, I currently work in government as a communications specialist. It is a wonderful stable job with good benefits so the thought of leaving something so steady is scary. But my dream is to do something focused more on spirituality/new age modalities and/or personal development focused like coaching or creating content around those things. My biggest roadblock as of right now is trying to figure out how to 1) be successful at the latter and 2) when I feel solid in that new endeavor, getting my ego to shut up about leaving a job with traditional attributes for that of more unpredictability.
Sincerely,
Looking to Leap
Dear Looking to Leap,
I’ve recently been re-reading the book, How to Be a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero. It’s a bestseller, but for years the bright green cover and loud type turned me off every time I saw it at the bookstore. When I eventually read it within the past two years, it challenged my thinking around 1) What I can do to make money that is outside of what I traditionally accept as work that pays the bills, and 2) It challenged my discomfort about asking for what I was worth.
In the book, Sincero says: “Giving and receiving money is an energetic exchange between people, and your job is to consciously get your frequency in alignment with the money you desire to manifest and open yourself up to receiving it. This means getting clear on the value of the product or service you’re offering, being excited and grateful instead of weird and apologetic about receiving money for it, and having total faith that this money is on its way to you instead of worrying about the possibility of it not showing up.”
Let’s dive deeper into this quote. Giving and receiving money is based on expectations. If you go into your favorite coffee shop, you know what the cost of a cappuccino is. Now, you might go to the coffee shop down the street that’s not as good and still be willing to pay for it, but you likely expect to pay less because the quality is less. But, if you are traveling and happen upon a highly-esteemed coffee roastery that has become specialized in making and serving the best coffee you’ve ever tasted, you’d probably be willing to pay a little more than you normally do, right?
Our work is similar. When we’re starting out, we charge what we feel comfortable with, which might be less than the average person doing that work. As we gain experience, we raise our prices, and once we become an expert—meaning we’ve specialized in a particular niche of the field that makes our services more valuable because not everyone has our knowledge or approach—then we can charge top dollar. However, regardless of where we are in our industry, beginner, experienced, or expert, what we charge is usually based on how we feel about money. Even if we could be charging more, we may charge less because we don’t believe our customers value our services enough to pay more or we aren't’ worthy. Asking for money is a loaded request.
“Regardless of where we are in our industry, beginner, experienced, or expert, what we charge is usually based on how we feel about money...Asking for money is a loaded request.”
So, first, how do you think about money? Do you believe the work you’re doing now is the only way you can support yourself? Do you believe that the work you want to do is also valuable and people will pay for it? Or does it feel impossible? Do you believe that the work you want to do will lack any sense of stability and consistency? Or do you think there’s a way to build in consistency for yourself? Yes, your current job feels safe and stable because that’s what you have been told, perhaps by society, family, and yourself. But how many people lose their jobs every day? No job is completely safe and whether or not you work for someone else, it’s important to take control of your own professional destiny.
The path you want to take is not far from mine. I have a social work degree and worked in the field for more than a decade total, but for 6 years post degree. During the last 1.5 years of working at the same nonprofit, I cofounded a side project, which eventually turned into my full-time work for a period. There was an overlap of more than a year when I was doing social work and planning, executing, and launching the side project with my partner. Anytime we transition, there is overlap, which gives room to grow into the new thing. If I had it to do over, I wish I had had even more time before taking the leap to make the side project the full-time focus. That’s how valuable I think it is.
I also took a year to transition from my side-project-turned-full-time work, the magazine I cofounded, to coaching. In fact, for a full year, I worked on the magazine, completing my duties as a full-time employee, then moving to part-time, and then wrapping at the end of the year. During that time, I took freelance content strategy work to augment my income and I was trained as a coach and opened my practice. When I ended my time with the magazine, I continued to take freelance work while I grew my coaching business, which also included writing and speaking.
But for a whole year, freelance work helped me pay the bills and took the pressure off my coaching business to have to grow in a way that felt disingenuous. It takes at least a year, from my experience, to build a strong foundation, but you can start anytime. The fact that you have a stable, well-paying job is great because that means you can begin to build the business you want to grow into without outside pressure right now. You can experiment and play and see what feels good, what people find valuable, and what uses your skills have.
Finally, after a year of coaching and freelance work, I decided I would try to make a living solely from coaching in 2019. I was terrified! What if I failed? But I knew the value of the work I was doing, and it was a matter of believing and then asking for what I was worth. And I decided to keep my revenue streams diverse, doing writing and speaking on top of coaching. I’m still growing my client base, so I need to have other streams to support myself, but those streams support my work as a coach and each serves a purpose: speaking allows me to share what I’m learning and reach people on a mass scale beyond 1:1 work. Writing allows me to research, ask questions, and explore lines of inquiry around the work I do; often what I write becomes what I talk about. It would be helpful for you to begin to think about how various mediums could come together in what you want to do and then find ways to begin practicing them.
This is how you become successful. First, you define what success looks like in detail. Is it making x amount of money per year from your business? Is it combining various skill sets into your work? Is it contributing in a way you find meaningful? Is it all of those things? Get specific about the kind of money you want to make, the skills you want to use, who you want to serve or work with, and why you want to do it.
Then think about how where you are now can serve as a jumping off point for where you want to go. Can it help you pay off debt and save up for 6 months worth of expenses so you can complete training or launch your new business? Does it pay your bills over the next year as you grow your clientele as a coach or content creator? Before you can leap, you have to build something to leap into. Some may argue with that, and some have certainly taken a leap without any safety net, but I would encourage you to have a plan so that you do not have to go into unnecessary debt or feel like you are flailing as it is hard to build momentum when you feel lost.
“The work you want to do only feels less tangible because you haven’t defined it yet. The work you are currently doing was also intangible at some point until someone wrote a job description. So, write a job description, write copy for a website, begin to tell people what you plan to do. All of this will help you define it more thoroughly.”
The work you want to do only feels less tangible because you haven’t defined it yet. The work you are currently doing was also intangible at some point until someone wrote a job description. So, write a job description, write copy for a website, begin to tell people what you plan to do. All of this will help you define it more thoroughly. If you can define it more thoroughly, then you will feel more comfortable asking for money because you—and others—will clearly see the value in your services.
In the meantime, reach out to others who have taken this path or who are doing work similar to what you want to do. Ask them everything you want to know. Be like a scribe and write everything down. Think about what might work for you depending on where you live, how much training you’ll need, what other resources you have at your disposal, and ultimately what kind of business you want to build long-term.
It’s overwhelming to start a new endeavor, but it’s not impossible. Take it step by step. Have a plan, but be open to how that plan might change. Ask for help. Value yourself and the services you are offering. Get training if that helps you feel more confident. Tell people what you’re doing. Be excited about it. If they don’t get it, see it as an opportunity to educate them. Know that not everyone will be on board with your plan, especially friends and family who want you to do the thing that feels “safe,” but that’s okay. This is your path and although this feels like a risk to you, it’s less of a leap and more like little steps you take along the way. Take those steps and keep building and one day you will look back and see how far you’ve come.
To many little steps,
Coach Tina
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